Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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