dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
