I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
