I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
