She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
