just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
