I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
