Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
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