I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
