Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
