Whod you bang
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
