I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I think I am morally bankrupt
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
