dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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