We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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