You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
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