Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
