The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
