Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize