Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
