just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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