I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
