i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
