After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize