Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
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