ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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