Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You can't just leave with hair like that
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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