I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
