"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
