Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
