I'm eating all of the evidence.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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