No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
