I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Randomize
