wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
