dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
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Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
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I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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