What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?