I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
