I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Fuck appropriateness.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
