I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
