Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
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