Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize
