the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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