If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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