He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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