I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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