It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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