party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
