i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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