New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
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It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
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My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
so much tequila, so little girl.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
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