Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
