North Korea, Best Korea!
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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