What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
