Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
