Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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