NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I enjoy the company of your penis
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
