Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
