I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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