I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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