saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
