I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
