Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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